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Dirty talk can feel like walking through a minefield for a lot of people. Maybe something that you qualify as dirty talk is offensive, or laughable, or insane to your partner.

It’s an area of sex that makes a lot of people feel silly because they’re unsure of how to go about it without feeling ridiculous. This is the ultimate guide to dirty talk, walking you through the things to generally avoid, include, and steer clear of altogether in order for you to dominate the world of dirty talk.(For the record, I don’t believe in the words “dirty talk” since there’s nothing dirty about sex or talking about sex.

When you talk, breathe heavy, or moan, you’re doing this through a direct line to the brain.”But if you need some help perfecting your dirty-talk repertoire and etiquette, don’t worry: We talked to a handful of phone-sex operators and got their best advice for upping your phone-sex game.

These (ahem, “One of the coolest things about phone sex is that everything is happening in the realm of imagination, so anything is possible.

Ever wanted to have sex upside-down in zero gravity on the International Space Station? In fantasy, you get to be a superhero, villain, rockstar, or a groupie.

Description is everything in phone sex, so if you're creating a fantasy scenario, set the scene.

Plus, opting for phone sex over an IRL experience can be a great way to mix things up for long-term partners.And while you’re fooling around, giving your partner real time feedback about what you’re enjoying is a great way to encourage them to give you more of that thing, and also gives your sexual play the added edge of becoming more of a multi-sensory experience.For a lot of people, it’s the details of dirty talk that make it so much of a turn on.The full 11 page transcript is here (full transcript from Radar Online). We’ve redacted it to give you the arc of the 10 months of exchanges, and to make it safe to read at work, in the main. Now I know you’re excited and can’t wait to dive into your new world of textual exploration but slow down. The first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that’s a whole other set of issues.